Saturday, May 5, 2012

Day 02 - Something I Regret Not Doing Last Year

My Mother in 1948
I did not go to visit my parents' graves at all last year. I meant to. I should have. But, to get there, I have to return to my old hometown. There is nothing there for me anymore. I haven't driven down Main Street in four years. 

Five months after my father's death, my mother changed her will putting my cousin in as executor (it had been me) and giving him what I had been told would be my children's share of the estate. My kids were no longer included. But, I didn't know that until she died. That's when I learned that my kids had been removed as heirs and that I had been removed as executor. 

There isn't any way I can explain the degree of anger I had at learning that. Losing my mother for whom I was caregiver during her last year only to learn that my kids and I had been cut out of everything else. I just have no desire at all to ever drive past the house where I grew up. I went to her grave on Easter of the year following her passing and I went another time to place personal markers since they had not budgeted for headstones. That was 2008. I haven't been since.

Mt. Zion Methodist. Mom and Dad are buried here.
Despite the reasons behind my not wanting to go to my hometown, I do regret not "visiting" her. Even though I think undue influence was used to get her to change the will, she was an otherwise amazing woman. When we had the memorial service during her funeral, there wasn't one empty seat in the small church she attended. Yet, on any given Sunday, there were often only 12-14 people in attendance. To have a packed house in that little country church is a testament to who she was and how well-loved she was.

Therefore, I do regret not having gone to visit hers and Dad's graves at all last year. I had even bought a miniature rosebush to plant over her (she loved flowers), but I just couldn't make myself go. I don't want to regret the same thing next year.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

There is always this year to plant that rose bush. While reading your blog, the thought came to my mind that she was being influenced by someone and maybe not really even thinking clearly. Best wishes to you.

May 7, 2012 at 1:15 AM  

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