Day 19 (16): Something that shook my belief system to its core (a big disappointment in my life).
Well, I am doing this one out of order because the particular thing that fits this topic is still a very very sore spot for me. I don't like dwelling on it at all and would rather not post anything at all. Except that I promised myself that I would follow through on this challenge, even if no one else did.
My big disappointment, the very thing that shook me to the core, was learning that my mother changed her will five months after my father died, took my kids out, removed me as executor, made my cousin executor and then gave him my kids' promised share of the estate. And, the fact that he actually accepted it as being deserved by him in addition to the 10% he got as executor fills me with such rage and hurt that I can't even adequately express my feelings. He has never given me an accounting of the estate as required by law. He never told me how much my residual share was until it was going to run out (four years later). He even had the nerve to ask me for the antique furniture that WAS left to me even though Mom gave him 35% of the estate's proceeds. Not only that, but he changed her life insurance as well so he got 35% of that, too. He told her neighbor that he didn't really care about her and just wanted to get out from under the responsibility as quickly as possible, so he undersold the house by nearly $35,000 to a friend he'd promised to sell it to years before Mom died. It has made me wonder what she saw in him, why her ONLY CHILD wasn't worthy of more consideration, why her grandchildren were denied what they'd been promised and whether he only did it for the money (my gut says yes, but I just don't know).
Anyway, that's the thing that I have been living with for the past four years and the wound is just as raw now as it was then. I don't think I'll ever get over it. And, I'm not going to continue talking about it because my stomach is already in knots and my blood pressure is rising. I don't want to go to bed feeling like this, so I need to calm down. And, that is all for this particular post.
My big disappointment, the very thing that shook me to the core, was learning that my mother changed her will five months after my father died, took my kids out, removed me as executor, made my cousin executor and then gave him my kids' promised share of the estate. And, the fact that he actually accepted it as being deserved by him in addition to the 10% he got as executor fills me with such rage and hurt that I can't even adequately express my feelings. He has never given me an accounting of the estate as required by law. He never told me how much my residual share was until it was going to run out (four years later). He even had the nerve to ask me for the antique furniture that WAS left to me even though Mom gave him 35% of the estate's proceeds. Not only that, but he changed her life insurance as well so he got 35% of that, too. He told her neighbor that he didn't really care about her and just wanted to get out from under the responsibility as quickly as possible, so he undersold the house by nearly $35,000 to a friend he'd promised to sell it to years before Mom died. It has made me wonder what she saw in him, why her ONLY CHILD wasn't worthy of more consideration, why her grandchildren were denied what they'd been promised and whether he only did it for the money (my gut says yes, but I just don't know).
Anyway, that's the thing that I have been living with for the past four years and the wound is just as raw now as it was then. I don't think I'll ever get over it. And, I'm not going to continue talking about it because my stomach is already in knots and my blood pressure is rising. I don't want to go to bed feeling like this, so I need to calm down. And, that is all for this particular post.
Labels: 30 days of truth, 30daysoftruth, anger, bitterness, disappointment, estates, executor, GBE2, greed, hurt, resentment, wills
posted by SJerZGirl at
12:58 AM
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