G is for Good Friends

TG has been my friend since we met at work. Until he was hired, I was the newest person in the office. He looked so lost and alone when he arrived. He was standing all alone, looking out the back door of the office, holding the big coffee mug that I used to use when I was Joan's assistant. Now he was her assistant. I missed working with Joan, but knew TG was in good hands.

I was on my way upstairs to the kitchen to get some coffee when I saw him standing alone and looking forlorn. I walked up to him, put out my hand and introduced myself, welcoming him to our little 'family'. He seemed surprised that someone would speak to him, although I'd been hearing people talk about him. Villanova grad, probably wouldn't stay, single, good looking - you know - cat talk. I just hadn't met him yet. 

On Saturday night we were talking by text and he says, "You know, we met 15 years ago today." It still surprises me that he remembers the date we met, the date I introduced myself to him. It surprises me to be so important to someone that the date of our meeting is an anniversary. So, I wished him Happy Anniversary. It felt good. It still does.

Image from a variety of comment image sites.

Someone with whom you shared a friendship that simply drifted out of your life.

When I first moved to Utah, I only knew one person in Salt Lake City. Since she was married and had just had her first child, I couldn't stay with them indefinitely, so I had to find an apartment for myself. I ended up sharing an apartment with three others who were looking for fourth to split the rent. I immediately hit it off with Amy. 


We had a blast together. We were both from "back east" - she from Ohio and me from New Jersey. When her mother would come to visit, we'd all go together to see the sights. Her mother wanted so bad to see the Osmonds, so we drove to Orem and we joined them in their services. Her mother was just thrilled.

Cascade Springs in Autumn (stockazoo.com)

We'd take rides into the canyons to see things we'd heard about but hadn't seen while singing Rocky Mountain High at the top of our lungs. We saw Robert Redford's Sundance ranch and an absolutely beautiful natural spring called Cascade Springs where the water bubbles to the surface and naturally cascades down the terraced rocks to form a stream farther down the mountain. You can't imagine how it looks in Spring.

We eventually moved out of the one apartment into one we shared together because of some differences of opinion between her and the other two girls. We totally enjoyed being roommates and had many mutual interests. 

Amy began dating a young man steadily and I was dating his brother. Within a few months, she was engaged and ready to move out into an apartment of her own. I panicked because I couldn't afford to pay the rent on my own and was a little surprised that she would just

Our apartment directly above pool, right bldg.

leave me with the lease like that. She did eventually find a basement apartment in a converted house that happened to have a vacancy on the first floor. I also moved. But, things weren't the same. In less 

than a year after meeting David, Amy was engaged, married and pregnant. I have to admit to feeling betrayed at the time because I sure wasn't ready to lose a friend to married life. Little by little, the split between us became wider until she and David moved out and I never learned where. 

I recently reconnected with her via Facebook. I was able to located one of her children who put me in contact with Amy. She divorced David and is remarried. She has good

The House into which we moved

memories of our being roommates as do I, but that "connection" we once had just isn't there. I know we all grow up, but we had a kind of friendship I'd never had before or since. We were more like family than friends. I will always have good memories of those years.

Day 14 (11): Someone who has made your life worth living.

I've never been a mush and gush kinda girl except for how I feel about cats, so it's hard for me to really identify anyone in my life that I can say "makes life worth living". Even during the worst of times, when I felt completely alone and friendless, I knew that life was worth hanging around for. However, there are a couple of people who have made a world of difference in my life. 


The first one would be my daughter, Debra. I can't explain it and there's no real reason for it, but the day she was born, I fell in love with her instantly. I bonded with her in a way that I hadn't been able to with my son. (That in no way means I love my son any less - it's just that the connection is different.) They laid her on me and I spoke to her. As soon as I did, she lifted her head up and looked me straight in the eyes. And, I cried. Nothing in the world like it.

The second one would be my friend, Tom. He wasn't a friend I would have normally pursued. He was a recent graduate of Villanova when I met him, younger than me by almost two decades. But, he looked so alone and out of his element when he first began working where I worked that I introduced myself to him and welcomed him to the office. Beginning that day, our friendship grew, somewhat comically at first, but to a level of trust and acceptance I've never had with any other friend. It is because of Tom that I got to see Paris. It is because of Tom that I was able to go to where my Irish immigrant family lived and married in County Derry. I got to see San Francisco, Quebec, Montreal, Cape Cod, Frankfurt & Munich, Germany, a castle in Heidleberg, the cloisters featured in the Sound of Music in Salzburg, Austria. I am still amazed by all of it.


So, I guess you could say that these two have made my life worth living, although I somehow knew early on that it would all be worth it. Obviously, it was!

Popularity - GBE2, Week #24

I have never been popular. I was always the one nobody picked for their team, who was called names and teased, who wasn’t invited to parties or sleepovers. There were a few years in high school where I did have a group of kids I hung out with and within that group, I felt popular, which helped me through high school tremendously; but I also gravitated towards others who were on the outside looking in. I befriended those who were also shut out because of whatever factor of the day was being held against them. There were a few times I found myself having to draw back because the person had more “issues” than even I could grasp or overlook; but for the most part, the friends I made then are still friends now. 

Not that I have a huge number of friends or do a lot of socializing. Occasionally I wish I had

Something we all seek to some degree.

 more “normal” social experiences than I did because it would have helped me overcome some of my insecurities and the extreme shyness I grew up with. Other times, I see how far some people go in an effort to be popular and find that I am much more content with my station in life than I’d have ever thought possible. Things that some think are important are much less so for me. I don’t have the stress of maintaining an image that some have. There is no overt competition for me in social circles because, in most cases, I can take them or leave them.

It isn’t that I’m anti-social. It’s more that, after years of looking in from the outside, I can enjoy my own company and don’t really need to be entertained by others. I do enjoy it but am glad that I don’t have to schedule my social events in order to remember what I’m doing when or with whom.

Unfortunately, though, I have found that many situations in the so-called “real world” are more of a popularity contest than an actual acceptance of a person and their abilities – jobs, for example. I have worked in places where who you’re friends with has a far greater impact on your ability to promote up than how well you do your job. Far too often, it’s who you know or what you kiss that gets you the position you want. Not that knowing someone is totally unnecessary – often, it’s who we know, or how we network, that helps us locate the jobs we don’t know about. But, if that’s the only criteria in obtaining a position, then I would rather not be a part of it. In those jobs, your days are numbered if any manager takes a dislike to you, regardless of how professional you might be.

All in all, though, being popular can be more of a headache than a benefit.  There’s nothing wrong with being popular if it’s because you are a genuinely likeable person who treats everyone equally. But, if your popularity is based more on peer prestige than personality and something you work hard at maintaining, then I think you stand a greater risk of losing something of yourself along the way than someone who isn’t as concerned with being popular.